I thought by now..

It's the holiday season, I guess....sigh..
Robin's death still stings.

But what kind of surprises me, is how much 
I am missing my Dad this last week. 

I mean..I miss him all the time.
But I thought after two years, that the
crying was over.
I thought that voice in my head was
always screamimg
"I want him back!" ,
had finally shut up.
But I hear it again.

Bill lost his Mom about a year after I lost Dad...
he still cries sometimes.

Maybe it's normal, then.

I still can't come to terms with death in general.
The very idea outrages me.

What the hell do we work so hard for anyway..?
Just for it all to be over and forgotten so soon..

But I work even harder as a response.
I keep hoping to leave behind enough of me in
tangible form, so as to not ever be forgotten.

But...

I will be.