I have mentioned my Rebecca many a time.
She is a special girl...and I'm
not just saying that because
I am her Mom.
She has a very high IQ, and a very
creative and dynamic personality.
She is a force of nature.
She's big, smart, able and
But Lord help you if she
Or if she wants YOU to be
willing when you are not.
She is passionate...and she
She has the soul of an artist,
the mind of a brain surgeon,
and the heart of a poet.
She is both an idea girl..and
she can plan AND she
can follow through.
Most people really only
excell at one of those areas.
I don't brag on her like this very often.
But it's a bit relevant.
I secretly had this idea
for a place like I linked to
at the start of this post.
And she also had the same idea.
We just sort of blurted it
all out the other day
while we were working in
Becca often chooses to
of her paintings and ideas
before she does the final product..so
she is in there with me alot.
The room is set up for art and exploration.
We both decided we wanted
to make a place
where others can come
and create too.
Her idea is to call
it "The Make Place"
I NEED this..and so does she.
While she can always find
a way to occupy that
1000 mile an hour brain of hers,
she needs a focus.
Fortunately she has
So oddly I don't worry much
about embarking on a business venture
with my 6 year old daughter.
This town also needs this place.
What is offered to older children
and young/mid aged
adults in the way of artistic exploration
in Westerville is pathetic.
Also what is offered as a means for artists
to display their work just isn't enough.
We have a sweet little gallery uptown....
but it isn't large enough...
and I feel the pricing is a bit
prohibitive for those
who have never shown their work before.
In addition to that all space is rented.
Artists are never featured based upon
artistic innovation or skill.
I think a "people's" gallery, as well
as a featured
artists gallery would be the berries.
I'll ask Becca what she thinks.
Or maybe not..she is still under the
impression that I am
But while I have a pretty good brain of my own,
I fully expect her to surpass me..
Heck, she'll be taller than me by
the time she's 8!
4'5" already!( maybe more since
I noticed her pants
looking like floods this morning)
And please...do not for one moment
think that this post undervalues Donna.
Donna is a whole different story...
whew..is she ever.
All of the above characteristics is slanted
quite differently when the child is
and when she is made of pure wonder.
My daughters are like a coin whose
one side is science, and
the physical. And whose other side is
magic and the ethereal.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
I posted about the 100 reasons challenge.
The first theme is "intro"
I know the title...
"My name is Rebecca and I am angry."
Now...to put that on canvas...
and no..I really am not asking for suggestions.
I don't know what I'm doing.
My Rebecca...long story as to why I and my daughter
have the same name...
anyways..my girl, has discovered shoulder pads.
She is beyond perplexed, but has decided that the
best use for them would be to put them inside her
PJ top and "cuddle" with them in bed.
There is nothing in this world more amazing and
perfect than a 5 and a 6 year old...
not until next year, that is.
Posted by diosaperdida at 8:43 PM
My sister lives less than a mile from me.
I forgot my camera battery charger when I was there last.
When I was there last, was Christmas.
We have been too busy to find
a time for me to get it when she is there.
Or for her to drop it by to me.
I see her husband more than I see her....but
he is our realtor, and we are desperate to find land.
So...I see my realtor brother in law ( yeah..I write it ALL out, and my kid isn't my DD either.)a lot more than I do his lovely wife...
My beautiful muralist sister is extremely busy.
this is why I dont have pics to show lately!
And why I cant show you what I found yesterday.
I went to a local store here where they sell everything
from pharmaceuticals to goat milk cheese to clothes...and cheap.
I saw that they had sweaters and other knits, so
I looked at the seams of some.
Most were natural fibers...wool, cotton..and
some silk/angora/wool blend knit skirts.
And they had good seams for unraveling
( hand finished with mattress stitch as opposed to serged)..
and there was a sign saying "ALL clothing 99 cents"!
I got a GIANT sapphire blue wool sweater...
seriously..it was big on me, and I wear an 18.
It was marked size small...but it was enormous, and
it is cable knit..so a ton of yarn in that thing...and
it has a large cowl neck!
I estimate that it is maybe ...hmmm...4000 yards
of fingering weight wool...
At 4.5 per 220 a yard ball...it would have cost more
than 80 dollars.
I then also bought the silk/angora/wool blend
skirts...4 of them.
lets say also about 4000 yards? At say 7 dollars
a ball that is 220 yards? 127 dollars.
But I paid 5 dollars..for all of it!
The down side?
The skirts while coming apart fairly easily,
are made of two strands of very fine yarn, held together.
Makes it kind of fussy.
Also, while the skirts are unworn..I am
guessing the skirts have been alive for awhile. The yarn inside of the waistband is much brighter....if you can call any of it bright.
The two strands are a shell pink and a grey held together.
The overall effect is...kind of beige.
It has to be dyed. I don't do beige.
eh...who the fuck cares.
I was on the phone while writing this
trying to reschedule an appointment for
Donna, to have her hearing checked.
We all have the flu...and all of us have earaches.
I thought rescheduling was the right thing.
Only to find out that they can't get her in until APRIL.
I tried to go ahead and keep today's
appointment because SHE CANT HEAR!
But the lady said she had canceled it
already...and it couldn't be undone.
I just started crying...and I can't seem to stop.
I have failed my child.
I just dont really deserve children.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
well..not in your most basic way, I'm not mean.
I do have a problem with snobs, idiots, graspers, takers, molesters...etc...
but I don't like to hurt people..and I
try to see all sides to a situation.
I won an Ebay auction the last week...week
I sent my payment within their alotted
time, and was clear in communication.
They sent me something that looked quite
unlike what was pictured
on the auction page.
It IS the same color...and that's about
where the similarity ends.
The texture is COMPLETELY different.
They showed a yarn in a cool brown that was
nubbly, and loopy.
I recieved a smooth cabled yarn.
It really don't like cabled yarn.
They also said it was wool.
It is wool wrapped with a fine strand of some
burn test also says it is a blend. It melted instead
of left ash
AND it smelled like hair.
I waited and wrote to then before just leaving my feedback.
I let them know all of the reason's I wasn't happy.
I also let them know I was keeping the yarn.
I just wanted to hear their side before I made my feedback.
They DID reply, addressing only one concern...
not responding to others...especially why it was represented as all wool, and why it looks completely different from pictured.
In the end I left a nuetral feedback explainging the problems briefly.
Why do I feel like a big meany?
In other news..I made a new blog.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
What type of sock are you?
Wow! You would have been a pair of socks as long as it's possible for socks to be before they're tights - and all multi-coloured with pretty patterns and detail all over the place - then you could stand and admire your sock-self all day!
Take this quiz!
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What is your level of knitting experience?
What kind of knitting needles are you?
You are plastic.Futuristic, milky, and silky, you are willing to go where no crafter has gone before. You can do just about anything, with strength agility, and pretty colors to boot! While you are good at slipping and sliding out of sticky situations, remember to stay where and when you are needed. Don't overdo it on star gazing when there's earthbound knitting to be done!
Take this quiz!
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Posted by diosaperdida at 11:10 PM
This is a painting which I thought was done..but
when I looked at the photo, I noticed that large
white splotch...which is far more noticable in
photos, than in real life. But online, it's photos
that count. So I need to fix that white splotch on
the leaf on the tree in the front. Painting is oil and
oil pastel on paper...and very darned big, for paper.
Then we have some yarn that I got from a
thrift store sweater. Bill and I are sharing it.
That's his swatch for the hat he is making for me.
I love my husband.
And while we are talking of spouses who make
hats...this is Bill's balaclava, which I made.
He got to test it out today..our first real snow this year.
He says it is almost TOO warm.
I also made myself a scarf and ...hmmm.it's kind
of like a hat with no top.
I didnt have enough yarn for a hat, but this
works very well. The yarn is a beautiful
I am VERY tempted to buy more.
Not appologising for the paint shirt, nor
for the blurry pic, nor for the mean face I'm making,
nor for being fat.
Also I am not appologising for the mess in the next photos.
This is large rug that I made from 6 smaller ones.
It goes in that room perfectly.( my family room)
Mom seems to think that we need doilies in
that very ...not-a-doily kind of room.
I have made a chair set that DOES match...
I just need to finish it up.
And yes..the wall not pictured is blue.
And yes..there is art all over it.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I brought some of my older blogs into the new
version..and my old profile has taken over.
I call it fate.
It's more "me" I guess anyways.
I was asked if I paint anymore....
I hadn't been painting much..and rarely sharing what I had.
I started again.
Not that it's anyone's damn business...Ron.
It's funny..Ron doesn't need to be critical of me, or
worry if I'm knitting more than I'm painting.
Oh wait...yes he does..
cause if I wasn't knitting, he wouldn't have that
afghan for his freezing ass that's all set to send out.
But just for the record...one VERY good reason my focus
has been more on knitting...and only ONE ( see last post)
is that I am working on earning Master knitter status.
It's a personal goal..one that I am allowed to have
without explanation to anyone.
But yes..I AM painting..and drawing.
Like anyone REALLY cares about my work anyways?
That's not a "poor me" statement..it's fact.
Posted by diosaperdida at 2:53 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
I had a friend who died last February.
I told him I could only be his friend.
I told him that I was in love with Bill...
He found something in me
Go figure...but, yes, he did.
He THOUGHT he was in love with me.
We had a parting of ways that involved him
saying that he couldn't deal with me being in
love with Bill anymore.
I swear I was HONEST!
I didn't lead him on...
but something in him still thought he loved me.
And that night that he said he couldn't deal
with me and Bill anymore...
he took some vodka, and some pills..
out into the woods..
and he drank the vodka..and took the pills..
and he went to sleep...
and froze to death.
And for the last year, I have
been trying to kill
whatever it was in me that killed him.
I have tried to submerge my personality
as much as possible.
I have nearly stopped painting.
I have lost interest in sex.
I have dressed like a construction worker.
I stopped talking to people.
I stopped being alluring, attractive, desirable
funny, smart, ...human.
I have tried to die without having
to leave my husband
and my children, Mother,
and pets....without ducking out
on what I owe to them.
I have tried to pay for what I did.
God help me..I have tried.
I guess that's all...
perhaps writing this is
the first step
I need some
because my family deserves
more than just a body.
Posted by diosaperdida at 8:34 PM
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I am going to need about three to four
Requirements being that you are
and that you are willing to work for free...
It would also be an enormous help if you are able
to read charts.
The finished instructions will probably be
for sale, so
your discretion about the project would be much
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
By the way...this will not be the last project
where I will need
test knitters. You will get a free project out
of the deal each
time, and the satisfaction of
being my source of double and triple checking....and hopefully
adding some inNovative
things to the knitting world.
Friday, January 12, 2007
"excellent comment! if i could express myself
verbally, i'd talk a lot more."
The response to a comment I made
on a peice of artwork titled "depression".
The comment doesn't matter..I am not
one to regal you with puffed up stories of my
prowess in any depatment..but especially verbal
When it comes to figuring out what to say, I hurt deep
in my head and sweat in my heart.
I am pretty sure I'm getting it wrong, and will
probably alienate someone...
well...best I just stick with alienating myself.
One thing is certain; I now understand why it is said
that depression is anger turned inward.
I am angry.
Very, very angry...about so many things.
But alas...gratitude is my salvation and my grace.
I have far more to be grateful for than to be angry about.
I shall write this 100 times...
hmm..maybe I could convince Bill to work it into
a naughty professor/student scenario?
Bill could easily teach salvation and grace 101.
Odd though that he found both in the love of
a broken soul....
as for knitting...hmm...ofcourse.
I knit all the time. But I don't have alot for show.
I should show you Bill's 2x2 ribbing...
now that's a man that can rib!
And I give credit where it's due...even if the student
does surpass the teacher..
He can weave in ends and do duplicate stitch like
nothing I have ever seen.
WAY better than I do it.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I have had that song in my head for the last week.
It's about all that's been in my head.
I did finally finish Bill's balaclava. It's ugly..
it's a balaclava. But it's soft.
I will be
sharing pics soon. I wish pics showed how soft it is.
I need an afghan made from Paton's Classic.
I have been designing a cable....more on that later.
It's going to be spectacular if I can pull it off.
Also..speaking of cables;
I have most of the pattern for the pink cable mitts
written out ( ok.."mitt" has TWO "t"'s.
As a Spanish
I find all the extra letters in
English weird and
that I first learned to read
But other than that, I seem to mostly be
preoccupied with falling apart this week .
Yanno...I can't let that happen.
As it is, I am about the laziest person alive.
And procrastination!...I'm surprised I don't
put off breathing for some other more
Hmm...I think the meat for dinner is thawed now.
Perhaps I should actually...cook it?
Hold on a sec, eh?
damn..it isn't anywhere near thawed yet! At this
rate dinner will be at 8:30 PM.
I do everything slow..because I diddle..
If I allow myself to fall apart too much,
I will never get anything done.
Then soon, I'll be dead...and nothing got done.
I keep telling myself I'm gonna do this, and
gonna do that..
Would it kill me to actually DO some of it?
Instead I sit around and cry.
OK...well..this journal is yet another way to procrastinate.
Actually, the bachache and weepiness described
yesterday, hasn't occured today.
I think it might be being caused by a medication that I am on.
I have to ask myself something, when it comes to blogging.
Are real opinions really acceptable?
I see things that I have definite opinions when I read blogs
and forum posts.
But I ask myself constantly, if stating my opinion
would be over stepping boundries?
It usually is answered with a yes...probably.
So I shut up.
I know many of my opinions would anger people.
So I shut up.
Posted by diosaperdida at 5:27 PM
Monday, January 08, 2007
I don't..but it would seem that my husband does.
I had no idea that my husband even wanted to
lay in a hammock...
much less knit one.
That man is just full of surprises.
I guess he can find any excuse to go
to the hardware store.
He loves washers and nuts and
the way I love diamonds and
He isn't a yarn junkie quite
yet...give it time.
In other news...well, I am writing this
later in the day...and I barely can
something is terribly wrong with me
It started about a week ago?
I get a heaviness...sometimes
a soreness in my lower back
I get weak and wobbly
and here is the kicker...
weepy, depressed and angry.
I'm almost in tears now and I don't
I feel like I need to the emergency room.
But what would I tell them?
I should run in and tell em I'm weepy?
Seriuosly..I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Posted by diosaperdida at 11:35 AM