Thursday, December 07, 2006

I get in these moods...

and it's better for me to just show a pic.

Scarf and hat.
Scarf is machine knit with hand finishing. 
Hat is handknit...mittens in the works.
Yeah, yeah
I showed these already...
but not totally finished and blocked.

The child wanted short fringe...just seems so wrong.
But...she is my first born.

First born and I also made soaps and bath bombs last week!
We put marbles in some....looks sort of weird, but feels
kind of fun
in the tub.

Blogger is pissing me off...everything is pissing me off.
Hence my reference to moods.
I know TV Land had better not have Star Trek on right now
after having it on at midnight last night.

I'm really just pissed at Bill.
Really pissed...cause..
I love him so much?

And he went ahead and risked his life driving out of
state in bad seemed alot worse
at the time..
when I asked him not to.
Asshole...making me worry
like that.
Not bad enough for him that I will
spend my old age alone...
he has to risk leaving me even earlier. I'm crying.
Gotta go....hate when I'm like this.

Hey..I'm also making the coolest ...maybe it's a shrug?
It's for me. It's gonna have lace ups here and there like a corset
Not to worry...
I know what's a real corset.
I remember when Bill wanted to
buy me this dress..
and I feel bad about yarn.
The dress was 500 dollars.
And we weren['t even engaged!
True...we've been together for YEARS...
and had been before we talked about
Me: "I love you" Click. I then hung up on him.
Next day I call back.
Me: "Erm...hi.."
Bill: "Hi"
Me: "You still want to talk to me?" "Not scared off are you?"
Bill: "Huh?" "Are you kidding?!"
"You know I love you!"
Me:"Well....I didn't actually think you MEANT that!"
Bill: "I LOVE YOU!"
Me: " Me too"
Bill: "So...what do we do now?"
Me: " Do? We don't DO anything"
Bill: "Oh"

And then we said goodbye for that moment.
Phone goodbye, yanno.
I learned later, that the diamond I wear now had already long been purchased by that time...with hopes on his part, that one day...

Several years later...

( written)
I love you.
I don't want to live with you, but
I want to marry you.

Bill: ...alot of crying...and laughing...and
saying stuff about how he had always hoped..

The next month when the ring was ready...

by that point he already had it at the jewelers...the
stone that is..having the ring made...which took forever...
and ruined his little Christmas surprise of asking me first.


the next month..

he officially proposed.

We met like...back in 86?

We're lucky we lived long enough...geesh!

Unbelievable the things that man has rescued
me from..and put up with from me.

Drugs, affairs, smelling like a vets office,
bitchy moods, having not one..
but ..
two children with another man.
Disorganization, messiness, and mayhem..
my obsessions with knitting and art.
My tantrums.

he can go to West Virginia.

But TVLand better not fuck up tonight.
Star Trek and knitting is my sanity.

And Bill, ofcourse.

Oh...the dress reminded me of all that..
or I thought of the dress because of the shrug...
and it's corset like laces.

The dress was a corset dress...
I made one of my leaps in explaing all of that.

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