One stop creation

http://www.tinkertinker.com/

I have mentioned my Rebecca many a time.

She is a special girl...and I'm 
not just saying that because 
I am her Mom.
She has a very high IQ, and a very 
creative and dynamic personality.
She is a force of nature.
She's big, smart, able and 
ready.
But Lord help you if she
 isn't willing.
Or if she wants YOU to be 
willing when you are not.
She is passionate...and she
 is stubborn.
She has the soul of an artist, 
the mind of a brain surgeon,
and the heart of a poet.
She is both an idea girl..and 
she can plan AND she 
can follow through.
Most people really only 
excell at one of those areas. 

I don't brag on her like this very often.
But it's a bit relevant.
I secretly had this idea
for a place like I linked to
at the start of this post.
And she also had the same idea.
We just sort of blurted it
all out the other day
while we were working in
my studio.
Becca often chooses to
make sketches
of her paintings and ideas
before she does the final product..so
she is in there with me alot.
The room is set up for art and exploration.

We both decided we wanted
to make a place
where others can come
and create too.
Her idea is to call
it "The Make Place"


I NEED this..and so does she.
While she can always find
a way to occupy that
1000 mile an hour brain of hers,
she needs a focus.
Fortunately she has
sticktoitness...always has.
So oddly I don't worry much
about embarking on a business venture
with my 6 year old daughter.

This town also needs this place.

What is offered to older children
and young/mid aged
adults in the way of artistic exploration
in Westerville is pathetic.
Also what is offered as a means for artists
to display their work just isn't enough.
We have a sweet little gallery uptown....
but it isn't large enough...
and I feel the pricing is a bit
prohibitive for those
who have never shown their work before.
In addition to that all space is rented.
Artists are never featured based upon
artistic innovation or skill.
I think a "people's" gallery, as well
as a featured
artists gallery would be the berries.

I'll ask Becca what she thinks.

Or maybe not..she is still under the
impression that I am
mentor material.
But while I have a pretty good brain of my own,
I fully expect her to surpass me..

Heck, she'll be taller than me by
the time she's 8!
4'5" already!( maybe more since
I noticed her pants
looking like floods this morning)

And please...do not for one moment
think that this post undervalues Donna.

Donna is a whole different story...
whew..is she ever.
All of the above characteristics is slanted
quite differently when the child is
extremely introverted....
and when she is made of pure wonder.
My daughters are like a coin whose
one side is science, and
the physical. And whose other side is
magic and the ethereal.

My name is Rebecca

I posted about the 100 reasons challenge.
The first theme is "intro"

I know the title...

"My name is Rebecca and I am angry."

Now...to put that on canvas...

and no..I really am not asking for suggestions.
I don't know what I'm doing.

My Rebecca...long story as to why I and my daughter
have the same name...
anyways..my girl, has discovered shoulder pads.
She is beyond perplexed, but has decided that the
best use for them would be to put them inside her
PJ top and "cuddle" with them in bed.
There is nothing in this world more amazing and
perfect than a 5 and a 6 year old...
not until next year, that is.
 

Less than a mile..

My sister lives less than a mile from me.
I forgot my camera battery charger when I was there last.
When I was there last, was Christmas.

We have been too busy to find
a time for me to get it when she is there.
Or for her to drop it by to me.

I see her husband more than I see her....but
he is our realtor, and we are desperate to find land.

So...I see my realtor brother in law ( yeah..I write it ALL out, and my kid isn't my DD either.)a lot more than I do his lovely wife...
My beautiful muralist sister is extremely busy.

So...

this is why I dont have pics to show lately!

And why I cant show you what I found yesterday.
I went to a local store here where they sell everything
from pharmaceuticals to goat milk cheese to clothes...and cheap.

I saw that they had sweaters and other knits, so
I looked at the seams of some.
Most were natural fibers...wool, cotton..and
some silk/angora/wool blend knit skirts.
And they had good seams for unraveling
( hand finished with mattress stitch as opposed to serged)..

and there was a sign saying "ALL clothing 99 cents"!

I got a GIANT sapphire blue wool sweater...
seriously..it was big on me, and I wear an 18.
It was marked size small...but it was enormous, and
it is cable knit..so a ton of yarn in that thing...and
it has a large cowl neck!
I estimate that it is maybe ...hmmm...4000 yards
of fingering weight wool...
At 4.5 per 220 a yard ball...it would have cost more
than 80 dollars.

I then also bought the silk/angora/wool blend
skirts...4 of them.
lets say also about 4000 yards? At say 7 dollars
a ball that is 220 yards? 127 dollars.

But I paid 5 dollars..for all of it!

The down side?
The skirts while coming apart fairly easily,
are made of two strands of very fine yarn, held together.
Makes it kind of fussy.
Also, while the skirts are unworn..I am
guessing the skirts have been alive for awhile. The yarn inside of the waistband is much brighter....if you can call any of it bright.
The two strands are a shell pink and a grey held together.
The overall effect is...kind of beige.
It has to be dyed. I don't do beige.

eh...who the fuck cares.

I was on the phone while writing this
trying to reschedule an appointment for
Donna, to have her hearing checked.
We all have the flu...and all of us have earaches.
I thought rescheduling was the right thing.
Only to find out that they can't get her in until APRIL.
I tried to go ahead and keep today's
appointment because SHE CANT HEAR!
But the lady said she had canceled it
already...and it couldn't be undone.
I just started crying...and I can't seem to stop.
I have failed my child.
I just dont really deserve children.

I'm not mean...wait..it's about yarn...don't leave!

well..not in your most basic way, I'm not mean.
I do have a problem with snobs, idiots, graspers, takers, molesters...etc...

but I don't like to hurt people..and I
try to see all sides to a situation.

Anyways..
I won an Ebay auction the last week...week
before...whatever.
I sent my payment within their alotted
time, and was clear in communication.

They sent me something that looked quite
unlike what was pictured
on the auction page.

It IS the same color...and that's about
where the similarity ends.

The texture is COMPLETELY different.
They showed a yarn in a cool brown that was
nubbly, and loopy.
I recieved a smooth cabled yarn.

It really don't like cabled yarn.

They also said it was wool.
It is wool wrapped with a fine strand of some
manmade fiber.
burn test also says it is a blend. It melted instead
of left ash
AND it smelled like hair.

I waited and wrote to then before just leaving my feedback.
I let them know all of the reason's I wasn't happy.
I also let them know I was keeping the yarn.
I just wanted to hear their side before I made my feedback.

They DID reply, addressing only one concern...
not responding to others...especially why it was represented as all wool, and why it looks completely different from pictured.

In the end I left a nuetral feedback explainging the problems briefly.

Why do I feel like a big meany?


In other news..I made a new blog.

It's time for a stupid quiz break.

What type of sock are you?

Wow! You would have been a pair of socks as long as it's possible for socks to be before they're tights - and all multi-coloured with pretty patterns and detail all over the place - then you could stand and admire your sock-self all day!
Take this quiz!















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What is your level of knitting experience?

You've got experience. Your wardrobe is full of things you've made yourself; your friends and family pretty much expect you to knit things for them. Yet it always seems like you're learning something new.
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What kind of knitting needles are you?

You are plastic.Futuristic, milky, and silky, you are willing to go where no crafter has gone before. You can do just about anything, with strength agility, and pretty colors to boot! While you are good at slipping and sliding out of sticky situations, remember to stay where and when you are needed. Don't overdo it on star gazing when there's earthbound knitting to be done!
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PICS..for a change.

This is a painting which I thought was done..but
when I looked at the photo, I noticed that large
white splotch...which is far more noticable in
photos, than in real life. But online, it's photos
that count. So I need to fix that white splotch on
the leaf on the tree in the front. Painting is oil and
oil pastel on paper...and very darned big, for paper.




Then we have some yarn that I got from a
thrift store sweater. Bill and I are sharing it.
That's his swatch for the hat he is making for me.
I love my husband.





And while we are talking of spouses who make
hats...this is Bill's balaclava, which I made.
He got to test it out today..our first real snow this year.
He says it is almost TOO warm.
Yay.
Again..no pattern.





I also made myself a scarf and ...hmmm.it's kind
of like a hat with no top.
I didnt have enough yarn for a hat, but this
works very well. The yarn is a beautiful
wool/mohair/nylon mix...
I am VERY tempted to buy more.
Not appologising for the paint shirt, nor
for the blurry pic, nor for the mean face I'm making,
nor for being fat.

Also I am not appologising for the mess in the next photos.









This is large rug that I made from 6 smaller ones.
It goes in that room perfectly.( my family room)
Mom seems to think that we need doilies in
that very ...not-a-doily kind of room.
I have made a chair set that DOES match...
I just need to finish it up.
And yes..the wall not pictured is blue.
And yes..there is art all over it.

old blended with new..

I brought some of my older blogs into the new
 version..and my old profile has taken over.
I call it fate.
It's more "me" I guess anyways.

I was asked if I paint anymore....

I hadn't been painting much..and rarely sharing what I had.

I started again.

Not that it's anyone's damn business...Ron.
 

It's funny..Ron doesn't need to be critical of me, or
worry if I'm knitting more than I'm painting.
Oh wait...yes he does..
cause if I wasn't knitting, he wouldn't have that
afghan for his freezing ass that's all set to send out.

But just for the record...one VERY good reason my focus
has been more on knitting...and only ONE ( see last post)
is that I am working on earning Master knitter status.
It's a personal goal..one that I am allowed to have
without explanation to anyone.

But yes..I AM painting..and drawing.

Like anyone REALLY cares about my work anyways?

That's not a "poor me" statement..it's fact.

Maybe this will take some time to explain.

I had a friend who died last February.


I told him I could only be his friend.
I told him that I was in love with Bill...


He found something in me
 compelling...lovable.
Go figure...but, yes, he did.

He THOUGHT he was in love with me.
We had a parting of ways that involved him
 saying that he couldn't deal with me being in 
love with Bill anymore. 

I swear I was HONEST!
I didn't lead him on...

but something in him still thought he loved me.
And that night that he said he couldn't deal
with me and Bill anymore...

he took some vodka, and some pills..
out into the woods..

and he drank the vodka..and took the pills..

and he went to sleep...

and froze to death.

And for the last year, I have
been trying to kill
whatever it was in me that killed him.

I have tried to submerge my personality
as much as possible.
I have nearly stopped painting.
I have lost interest in sex.
I have dressed like a construction worker.
I stopped talking to people.
I stopped being alluring, attractive, desirable
funny, smart, ...human.
I have tried to die without having
to leave my husband
and my children, Mother,
and pets....without ducking out
on what I owe to them.

I have tried to pay for what I did.

God help me..I have tried.

I guess that's all...
perhaps writing this is
the first step
at some
resolution.

I need some
because my family deserves
more than just a body.

Test knitters for super cool project?

I am going to need about three to four 
test knitters.
Requirements being that you are
 very comfortable 
with cabling, 
and that you are willing to work for free...
It would also be an enormous help if you are able
to read charts.
The finished instructions will probably be
for sale, so
your discretion about the project would be much
appreciated.

Email me at rebecca.lopez@gmail.com

By the way...this will not be the last project
where I will need
test knitters. You will get a free project out
of the deal each
time, and the satisfaction of
being my source of double and triple checking....and hopefully 
adding some inNovative
 things to the knitting world.

Where's the knitting bitch?

"excellent comment! if i could express myself
that well
verbally, i'd talk a lot more."

The response to a comment I made 
on a peice of artwork titled "depression".
The comment doesn't matter..I am not 
one to regal you with puffed up stories of my 
prowess in any depatment..but especially verbal 
expression.

When it comes to figuring out what to say, I hurt deep
in my head and sweat in my heart.
I am pretty sure I'm getting it wrong, and will
probably alienate someone...

well...best I just stick with alienating myself.

One thing is certain; I now understand why it is said
that depression is anger turned inward.

I am angry.

Very, very angry...about so many things.

But alas...gratitude is my salvation and my grace.
I have far more to be grateful for than to be angry about.

I shall write this 100 times...

hmm..maybe I could convince Bill to work it into
a naughty professor/student scenario?

Bill could easily teach salvation and grace 101.
Odd though that he found both in the love of
a broken soul....


as for knitting...hmm...ofcourse.
I knit all the time. But I don't have alot for show.
I should show you Bill's 2x2 ribbing...
now that's a man that can rib!
And I give credit where it's due...even if the student
does surpass the teacher..
He can weave in ends and do duplicate stitch like
nothing I have ever seen.
WAY better than I do it.








 

I'd like to know where you got the notion..

I have had that song in my head for the last week.
It's about all that's been in my head.
I did finally finish Bill's balaclava. It's ugly..
it's a balaclava. But it's soft.
I will be
sharing pics soon. I wish pics showed how soft it is.
I need an afghan made from Paton's Classic.

I have been designing a cable....more on that later.
It's going to be spectacular if I can pull it off.

Also..speaking of cables;
I have most of the pattern for the pink cable mitts
written out ( ok.."mitt" has TWO "t"'s. 
As a Spanish 
speaker 
I find all the extra letters in 
English weird and 
annoying...nevermind
 that I first learned to read
 in English..)

But other than that, I seem to mostly be
 preoccupied with falling apart this week .

Yanno...I can't let that happen.

As it is, I am about the laziest person alive.
And procrastination!...I'm surprised I don't
put off breathing for some other more
convienient time.

Hmm...I think the meat for dinner is thawed now.
Perhaps I should actually...cook it?
Hold on a sec, eh?


damn..it isn't anywhere near thawed yet! At this
rate dinner will be at 8:30 PM.
I do everything slow..because I diddle..
and procrastinate!
If I allow myself to fall apart too much,
I will never get anything done.
Then soon, I'll be dead...and nothing got done.


I keep telling myself I'm gonna do this, and
gonna do that..
Would it kill me to actually DO some of it?
Instead I sit around and cry.

OK...well..this journal is yet another way to procrastinate.

Actually, the bachache and weepiness described
yesterday, hasn't occured today.
I think it might be being caused by a medication that I am on.

I have to ask myself something, when it comes to blogging.
Are real opinions really acceptable?
I see things that I have definite opinions when I read blogs
and forum posts.
But I ask myself constantly, if stating my opinion
would be over stepping boundries?
It usually is answered with a yes...probably.
So I shut up.
I know many of my opinions would anger people.
So I shut up.

grrrr...

So you wanna knit a..

hammock?

I don't..but it would seem that my husband does.

I had no idea that my husband even wanted to
 lay in a hammock...

much less knit one.

That man is just full of surprises.
I guess he can find any excuse to go
 to the hardware store.

He loves washers and nuts and
 bolts...and twine,
the way I love diamonds and 
rubies...and yarn.

He isn't a yarn junkie quite
 yet...give it time. 

In other news...well, I am writing this
later in the day...and I barely can

something is terribly wrong with me
It started about a week ago?
I get a heaviness...sometimes
a soreness in my lower back
I get weak and wobbly

and here is the kicker...

weepy, depressed and angry.
I'm almost in tears now and I don't
know why!
I feel like I need to the emergency room.
But what would I tell them?
I should run in and tell em I'm weepy?
Seriuosly..I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I need to floss...

Not my teeth...with my extensive dental work...not 
flossing would be tooth-a-cide.
I mean..embroidery floss.

Cause...48 dollars is more than I wanna do. ( freepeople boutique )
But aren't they CUTE!

I have about 9 pairs of 
black Mary Jane style shoes...
and a ton of floss.

I can have em for zero dollars.

ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

They also have a jaquard knit reindeer skirt.
And it's looking mighty cute...I forget
what it really is...has straps like suspenders.
I can do without those.
The front is a "sweater knit" panel set into a woven
fabric skirt...back is all woven fabric. It's mine.
I can make that so easily.
And the shoes.
They may be called "free people"...but the clothes
aren't...and I can do it for darn near free myself.
Well..at least simple sewing, embroidery, and knitting!

 

last time I'm going to try this...

 Some knitting...that Blogger doesn't want me to show.

OK...hat for my nephew( red)
Hat for his sister..modeled by my daughter ( blue and black stripes)
Mits for me

Red and Pink items are Paton's Classic Wool.
The blue, white and black hat which you can't really see is Lion Brand Magic Stripes.
It's a tasselded hat, and so cute that I wanted to keep it!
Since it was an easy machine knit( yes...you CAN use finer yarns on the USM...just be sure to keep those weights on the top edges...move them back up about everyother row.)..I'll make one for me.
Other hat and mits are handknit.
All made up as I went along.
Needle for red hat...mostly a size 5 Denise circular.
For the mits size 7 DPN's
and I think I used about 42 needles...and...hmmm...maybe 80 rows on the USM for the striped hat....I made a rectangle, folded it, used matress stitch to sew the sides.
Then I picked up stitches along the bottom edge for ribbing with a number 3 from the needlemaster set my sweet husband bought me.
After that, I made tassels, and sewed them on the top corners.

100 reasons...a challenge for artists.

100 REASONS CHALLENGE



The point of this challenge is to test and
improve your skills...



THE RULES:





1) Make 100 works of art, with each having
a theme as listed below. Each should have
ONE and only ONE theme to it.



2) No time limit, so have fun!



3) The art should be of your own ability,
so whatever medium you are most familiar
and comfortable with is allowed. Artwork must
be original and created by you, the participant.
Photomanipulations are fine, but DO CREDIT the stock
you use! Your work can be anything from crap
to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.



4) The list below is to be placed somewhere
in your or website for others to see that:

A) You are in the challenge.

B) What you have completed.



5) Make sure to update this list and check off
what is done and make a link to work as it is
submitted to your gallery.



6) In the comments for your artwork add
a note stating that it is
part of the "100 REASONS CHALLENGE" list and
state which ONE theme it is.



7) Now the good part... CHALLENGE YOUR FRIENDS!



THE LIST





1. Introduction

2. Love

3. Light

4. Dark

5. Seeking Solace

6. Break Away

7. Heaven

8. Innocence

9. Drive

10. Breathe Again

11. Memory

12. Insanity

13. Misfortune

14.Smile

15. Silence

16. Questioning

17. Blood

18.Rainbow

19. Gray

20. Fortitude

21. Vacation

22. Mother Nature

23. Cat

24. No Time

25. Trouble Lurking

26. Tears

27.Foreign

28.Sorrow

29.Happiness

30. Under the Rain

31. Flowers

32. Night

33. Expectations

34. Stars

35. Hold My Hand

36. Precious Treasure

37. Eyes

38. Abandoned

39. Dreams

40. Rated

41. Teamwork

42. Standing Still

43. Dying

44. Two Roads

45. Illusion

46. Family

47. Creation

48.Childhood

49. Stripes

50. Breaking the Rules

51. Sport

52. Deep in Thought

53. Keeping a Secret

54. Tower

55. Waiting

56. Danger Ahead

57. Sacrifice

58. Kick in the Head

59. No Way Out

60.Rejection

61. Fairy Tale

62. Magic

63. Do Not Disturb

64.Multitasking

65.Horror

66.Traps

67. Playing the Melody

68. Hero

69. Annoyance

70. 67%

71. Obsession

72. Mischief Managed

73. I Can't

74. Are You Challenging Me?

75.Mirror

76. Broken Pieces

77. Test

78. Drink

79.Starvation

80.Words

81. Pen and Paper

82. Can You Hear Me?

83. Heal

84. Out Cold

85. Spiral

86. Seeing Red

87. Food

88. Pain

89. Through the Fire

90. Triangle

91.Drowning

92. All That I Have

93. Give Up

94. Last Hope

95. Advertisement

96. In the Storm

97. Safety First

98. Puzzle

99.Solitude

100. Relaxation



Could any of these be translated through
knitting...or some other more tactile and 3 dimensional mediums?

I have known about this challenge for some
time...I only now have the sudden urge to do it.
As for painting..I may go weeks with no ideas...then
full paintings appear in my head all at once...and in
multitudes!

This was originally found on a deviantart journal...I
don't recall who the journal belonged to.
 

trees?

I get freakin' weird ideas sometimes.

I wanna make big white papier mache trees.
Ones with no leaves.

I wouldn't mind making them water proof 
and putting glitter on them, etc..and decorating
 them with snow flakes and using them in the
 front yard.

I am a bad girl..I not only bought more yarn. But I also
bought the entire first season of Star Trek Deep Space 9
...for over 50 bucks.
I shouldn't have...
my Mom might need that 50 dollars for a bounced
check or something..or just because she "feels restless"
Which basically means "give me money or I'll sit here and
tell you how depressed I am... capped off with how everyone
abuses me."


No really..I love my Mom.

I do wish she didn't eat 4 times more than
anyone else in the family.

I knitted for Christmas.
I also left my camera batteries and
charger at my sister's house.

In addition to finishing the other mitten for Becca,
I started a pair of cabled fingerless mitts for me.
They're pink!
I'm not using a pattern.
I think I have actually used a pattern...
hmmm
I made "nautie"
That's one reason I don't slam out FO's like other people.
Most things I have a formula for..and they go quick enough.
Other things...alot of swatching. Alot of trial and error.
AFTER alot of sketching.
But the fingerless gloves...that's easy.
I just picked up my tools and let 'er rip.

Yanno....I see all the time on Amazon and
other places where books are reviewed...under
the knitting catagory...
the reviewers feel the need to say.
"This is not a book for beginners." ,
quite often.
It sounds to me like they are saying.
"I know this fact because I myself am an expert."
and
"As an expert I can and will say what books
are suitable for beginners."

I would love to think it's just a case of an
experienced one wanting to steer the innocent
newbie away from the perils of intermediate
writings.
But...
there is rarely a reference to a book that IS good for a
beginner.
And there is generally reference to all that they can do in
one form or another


Now..if that doesn't make you angry...

What is it with yarn snobs!?
What really cracks me up...acrylics that
are acceptable if they are put out by some
"fashionable" company.
What also cracks me up are "fashionable" yarns
that are pure crap!
No..I'm not the world's biggest fan of Red Heart Super Saver.
But...acrylic in general, has it's place.
And people who knit with it...and who knit with Lion's Brand, Red Heart, Paton's, Caron's....STOP LETTING YARN SNOBS MAKE YOU FEEL YOU SHOULD APPOLOGISE!



 

loony moony

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Hope your holidays were fine. 

Well..mittens ofcourse.

So..What do you do when you make a hat and
 a scarf that match?
Yes..you make mittens.
Since this daughter will stick her
 hand in damn near anything, 
especially if it's cold and wet....
I decided felting was in order.


Conversation with daughter numbers
 one and two just now.
It begins with yelling and crying.

Becca: I'm sorry! blughber, hoody, 
booboo...ACCIDENT!
Me: Huh
Becca: Accident, garbledty, mishy-mash,
 foozle..I said ACCIDENT!
Me: Please state the nature of the 
medical emergency 
Becca: I don't know!
Crying has long since stopped...that
was Donna
doing the crying by the way.
Me: Donna...are you still alive?
Donna: No
Me: ok, then.

Children are indeed like tiny drunks.

Interesting how my Mom always
is saying things like

"If you want to buy me a gift..." And then
points out some expensive item.

Or.."I see something I like"

Thing is..I don't know why she
is always assuming
that I'm trying to find her a gift.
Or that I'm scouring the universe
for something she likes.

My feline is being an ass..
plus I have a cold and
a nasty kidney infection/stone

so..I'm going now.

I actually have alot more pics.

I get in these moods...

and it's better for me to just show a pic.

Scarf and hat.
Scarf is machine knit with hand finishing. 
Hat is handknit...mittens in the works.
Yeah, yeah
I showed these already...
but not totally finished and blocked.

The child wanted short fringe...just seems so wrong.
But...she is my first born.
 



First born and I also made soaps and bath bombs last week!
We put marbles in some....looks sort of weird, but feels
kind of fun
in the tub.



Blogger is pissing me off...everything is pissing me off.
Hence my reference to moods.
I know TV Land had better not have Star Trek on right now
after having it on at midnight last night.

I'm really just pissed at Bill.
Really pissed...cause..
I love him so much?

And he went ahead and risked his life driving out of
state in bad weather...well..it seemed alot worse
at the time..
when I asked him not to.
Asshole...making me worry
like that.
Not bad enough for him that I will
spend my old age alone...
he has to risk leaving me even earlier.
Shit...now I'm crying.
Gotta go....hate when I'm like this.

Hey..I'm also making the coolest ...maybe it's a shrug?
It's for me. It's gonna have lace ups here and there like a corset
does.
Not to worry...
I know what's a real corset.
I remember when Bill wanted to
buy me this dress..
sigh...
and I feel bad about yarn.
The dress was 500 dollars.
And we weren['t even engaged!
True...we've been together for YEARS...
and had been before we talked about
marriage.
Me: "I love you" Click. I then hung up on him.
Next day I call back.
Me: "Erm...hi.."
Bill: "Hi"
Me: "You still want to talk to me?" "Not scared off are you?"
Bill: "Huh?" "Are you kidding?!"
"You know I love you!"
Me:"Well....I didn't actually think you MEANT that!"
Bill: "I LOVE YOU!"
Me: " Me too"
Bill: "So...what do we do now?"
Me: " Do? We don't DO anything"
Bill: "Oh"

And then we said goodbye for that moment.
Phone goodbye, yanno.
I learned later, that the diamond I wear now had already long been purchased by that time...with hopes on his part, that one day...

Several years later...

Me:
( written)
I love you.
I don't want to live with you, but
I want to marry you.

Bill: ...alot of crying...and laughing...and
saying stuff about how he had always hoped..

The next month when the ring was ready...

by that point he already had it at the jewelers...the
stone that is..having the ring made...which took forever...
and ruined his little Christmas surprise of asking me first.

yes...

the next month..

he officially proposed.

We met like...back in 86?

We're lucky we lived long enough...geesh!

Unbelievable the things that man has rescued
me from..and put up with from me.

Drugs, affairs, smelling like a vets office,
bitchy moods, having not one..
but ..
two children with another man.
Disorganization, messiness, and mayhem..
my obsessions with knitting and art.
My tantrums.
Sigh...ok


he can go to West Virginia.

But TVLand better not fuck up tonight.
Star Trek and knitting is my sanity.

And Bill, ofcourse.

Oh...the dress reminded me of all that..
or I thought of the dress because of the shrug...
and it's corset like laces.

The dress was a corset dress...
I made one of my leaps in explaing all of that.

Real men knit.

I'm about to slap Blogger in a minute.

Let's try this post again.

Picture:



That's MY real man knitting.
Well..he's casting on.

Here  are some more.





 

Was hoping that I remebered how...

I hadn't done coragated ribbing in ..years?
Hell..I can't even spell it.
I will use the spell check thingy though..

Anyways...cheap yarn for experimenting...
yarn I wouldn't ever wear on my body...or put
on my kid's body.
HER sweater however...my first real machine
knit...
is going to have cora-whatever ribbed sleeves.
It's a variation on "Nothing but a T"
On Magknits.
Oh go Google..you can do it.
I was way proud of myself for making an invisable
hem..on the machine!
And I'm a beginner at this machine business!
It was tedious...but not too difficult.
I had to hang each stitch from the tail of the
sweater, onto the needles with the stitches next to be knit.
And then I knit the next two rows manually...
juuuusssttt to make sure their were no mishaps...like
carriage jams.

The scarf I made in finally enhanced with
hand crochet AND knitting along the sides
It's in the wash, right now, and will be blocked
properly next...then fringe added.
I kind of overblocked the first time..oopsy.

OK..next..
sock number one for number one daughter.


It's a perfect fit...
how did my 6 year old get to have
such large feet!?
I'm not crazy about the yarn.
I like the colors..and the self striping..
but the self patterning seems a bit lame.
I also wish I had knit it on a size 2 instead of size 2.5 ( 3 mm)
Oh well...

I ran out of stuff to say...

I wish I had this evening to myself. I want to paint.
But I am going to go buy a ball winder thingy.
Yay.
I am wondering if I HAVE to have a swift if I
use a ball winder?
I dont want a swift.


 

I thought by now..

It's the holiday season, I guess....sigh..
Robin's death still stings.

But what kind of surprises me, is how much 
I am missing my Dad this last week. 

I mean..I miss him all the time.
But I thought after two years, that the
crying was over.
I thought that voice in my head was
always screamimg
"I want him back!" ,
had finally shut up.
But I hear it again.

Bill lost his Mom about a year after I lost Dad...
he still cries sometimes.

Maybe it's normal, then.

I still can't come to terms with death in general.
The very idea outrages me.

What the hell do we work so hard for anyway..?
Just for it all to be over and forgotten so soon..

But I work even harder as a response.
I keep hoping to leave behind enough of me in
tangible form, so as to not ever be forgotten.

But...

I will be.

cute intarsia!

http://www.swakknit.com/

This place has some awesome patterns ...You just have to see for yourself. I am inspired.

Well...he'll kill me, but I am going to show off Bill's first knitting. I'm so proud!



And next we have his guage swatch for his first real project...a dishcloth...well..we decided that the swatch is also a project...a coaster ofcourse.
Even though it's just a dishcloth, I am having him approach it like it was a sweater. Planning, swatching, following a pattern that I am writing for him based on his guage. The dishcloth will teach him how to follow a knitting pattern, as well as how to follow written instructions for a stitch pattern...and how to manually do it...getting used to the switches of the yarn from front to back.
That was why I had him do those few squares on his first swatch.
I have to say his speed has increased dramatically...as well as how long he can knit at a session, before being mentally worn out.

Anyways...the guage swatch! Not too bad for cotton, and being a beginner.


And now show and tell for me.

On the USM...this was the first thing I made...basically it is a rectangle..I made it into a bag to hold Bill's juggling balls.



Next..I made Becca a scarf to match the hat that I made her...hat is handmade, and took two days...plus finishing.
Scarf...took two hours....still needs hand finishing.
Not to brag...but the hat actually has nicer, more even stitching than the scarf...hmmm...



Well..I have other pics...but they can wait.
I am going to change the main blog pic...
it has nothing to do with knitting, I just like it.
It's my bedroom window.

I wanted to love it...

 And I did!
I did!

I love it!

See post below...

Anyways..weird..I kept having the carriage jam.
I would knit a row...a row and a half..and bam..
everything would just stop.
Then I felt my hand relax when for some
reason my mind wandered...and the carriage
...which was getting ready to jam...whized
through the row.

Seems the trick to this thing is to relax.

I made a 12 by 13 square in no time..(an entire
ball of dishcloth cotton.)
after I had figured it out.
It took a couple of hours to figure it out.

What is the point of knitting

Yup...
I know for many,
many knitters, the whole point of knitting 
is to make something by hand....or to enjoy
the process of knitting.

I have to say that I do enjoy that process.
I wouldn't make socks by hand,
when I can buy them for 2 dollars..ready made,
if I didn't like the process.

But alot of times, the point of knitting for me,
is to have something that is knitted.

Alot of times, that something isn't the most
interesting thing...
or like the 270, it takes forever.
like when your daughter asks you to make her
a 48 inch wide Supergirl cape..at 6 stitches to an inch...

Yup...you know what I did.

I bought a USM.

I am hoping that now I have some
power to
quickly knit the things that dont
take tons of thought,
and can put more time into lace,
cables, and fair isle.
The machine is supposed to do
these things,
but I want to do them by hand...
Specifically, I'm getting interested
in Shetland Lace.
Now maybe the kids can have
their cardigans( and capes!)
I can have my scarves, and wraps.
Also I can do more charity knitting.
AND...I will also have more time
for socks, and lace.

Let's hope I am not one of the people that HATES
the machine.
Seems to be 50/50...it's loved, or it's hated.
I wanna love it.

As for it being plastic....
I have many plastic things, that have been
used like crazy for 15-20 years.
They still work.
Plastics aren't all crap.
Geesh...metal also breaks, and
can be very cheaply made.....

As for machine knitting not really being knitting..
The Kntting Guild of America disagrees, it would seem.
True...they aren't talking Ultimate Sweater Machines
in their Masters Course for machine knitting....
but they dont say machines are out.

We shall see what happens.

Comfort shawl...

 for Amber..Robin's daughter.



Garter stitch on needles too large for the yarn
to make a soft, floppy, warm...and quick fabric.
Crocheted shell stitch for an edging...which
looks pretty interesting in a boucle yarn...and fringe.
The fringe is a joke that Robin and I had...well...
part joke..part understanding.

Knitting through

My cousin left behind a husband, 4 brothers, 
many cousins,
 a Mother...and three children. The boys are
18 and 20...her daughter is 14.
She is very lost right now...never again will
she feel her Mother's embrace.
The shawl I am knitting for her is a poor substitute..
but it's all I have.
Some of the shock has worn off..
there is still disbelief over the event...
but I do indeed accept it as real.
Very real, and very tragic.
I can't seem to stop the outbursts of tears,
just out of the blue, they begin.
Beautiful Robin Gail is...gone...gone by her own hand.

 

Robin

My cousin Robin is dead  at age 37 from an overdose 
of blood pressure meds, cocain, alcohol , and
misc other drugs.
I ...have nothing else to say.

"I'll stick to my knitting."

That was the second part of Bill's statement, 
reflecting his opinion of crochet.
I thought that learning crochet would help him a
bit with the issue he is having in holding the working yarn.
I guess, it's my issue. His tension is fine...he just goes so slow
and looks so uncomfortable, with the needles anchored on his leg,
pointing to the sky...and his deliberate wind of the yarn when he
is making a stitch.

The first part of his statement about crochet...

"I HATE crochet"

I have never heard him say he hates anything
except for when people call him, "Will", "Willie", or "Billy" .

oo...and he "HATES" brussel sprouts...but who doesn't?

By the way...an interesting tidbit for the argument over knitting being art or not...and yes..I have had it more than once, with more than one person.
I was looking at Grove Art Online today...accessed through my local library's website. Here is how they describe themselves.

"Grove Art Online comprises the full text of The Dictionary of Art, edited by Jane Turner (1996, 34 vols) and The Oxford Companion to Western Art, edited by Hugh Brigstocke (2001)."

There is an entry for knitting..an entire page in fact. If the DICTIONARY of ART, defines knitting as art...then..well...so THERE!

What's with me lately..

I am not the best knitter in the world...but
 lately my work has been really loose and sloppy.
That ribbing is a disgrace...and ...bleh...the whole thing
looks like crap.
I think I will frog it and go down a size or two in needles.
The wool is sooo pretty.
Look at that color!
It is kind of  overly crisp in hand and not very soft...
and the store had one ball.
So I thought it would be great for mittens for Donna.
It doesn't look it, but that's a really tiny mitten.
She almost never can wear store bought ones,
since her hands so so small.
I knit for about a size 3 year old...tried it on her
while she was napping.
One thing I can say....the mitten fits perfectly.





Um..I painted some...